A Rebuttal

After my rant about people who fail to see the connection between the “If” and the “Then” I began to think about how the connection is either not made or ignored, and other times that this lack of connection is actually a benefit. The motivation behind this is one thing, but the actual mechanics of the process are equally as fascinating.

First and foremost people fail to make the connection because they do not follow the “then” into the future. These are the people who choose ignorant bliss. For example, “If I build my house on the side of a hill, then it will probably slide down the mountain in the next major rainfall.” Some people stop there. “Well,” they reason, “it won’t happen. Nobody in this neighborhood has ever had a house slide down the mountain.” Because they don’t want to think about it, they never extend their reasoning into the odds that it might happen. So they build the house.

They never continue on from, “If I build my house on the side of a hill, then it will probably slide down the mountain in the next major rainfall.”

And then what? “Well, I’ll lose my house and all of my possessions.”

And then what? “I will have to replace them.”

With what money? “Since the insurance for the house is exorbitant (because the insurance companies have actually calculated the odds of the house remaining intact), I will not have paid it. So, then I will have nothing.”

And then what? “I guess I’ll move in with friends or family who did not build their houses on the side of a hill.”

And now we get to the actual decisions which they choose to never allow themselves to think about: Is it okay with you that you lose everything and become dependent on others? Is it okay with the “others” on whom you will be depending? Will your children be happy to have to change schools, and lose their clothes and toys? Will you be okay with working one or more jobs in order to pay the mortgage on a house that no longer exists, while saving up enough to get back out on your own again? What will you do when the bank calls your loan because you no longer have the collateral of the house?

If people actually get that far in their thinking, they fall into one of two categories. Some think it through and say, “But it won’t happen to me. I’ll beat the odds,” and relegate themselves into the category of those in “ignorant bliss.” Others think it through and conclude, “I might not beat the odds, but I am going to do it anyway.” These are the gamblers.

Now this is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, if there were not gamblers in the world, life would be pretty boring. Christopher Columbus gambled and won. Thomas Edison gambled and won. Bill Gates gambled and won. I am sure that each of them was surrounded by people who thought each was out of his ever-loving mind.

But of course, the odds are still there. Numbers don’t lie. Most people who gamble against the If-Then rule, lose. There are certain laws of physics, laws of nature, and trends of the human condition that are close to inevitable.

And here is the crux of the whole thing. I realized after I wrote my first post that it is neither the people who choose ignorant bliss, nor those who gamble and lose against the If-Then rule that send me over the edge, it’s the whiners. It’s even worse if the whining includes an insinuation that the government, friends, family, or some other entity is now responsible to bail them out of their bad choices.

If people want to gamble or make choices out of ignorant bliss, fine. That’s their prerogative. But don’t whine when things don’t work out. Don’t whine when your house goes sliding down the hill. Don’t get on T.V. and start weeping and wailing about how it’s so horrible and you don’t know how you’re going to make it. The hills in Malibu above PCH slide down on a regular basis. For once I’d like to hear someone whose house is on the edge say, “Well, I bought the house knowing the danger. It was a great view while we had it, but this is what happens to houses on the edges of hills that slide.”

I don’t want to hear whining from the woman who fell madly “in love” with a guy, married him after a week of knowing him and is now on Oprah talking about how he beat her. I want her to say, “I made a bad choice. I gambled against the wisdom of getting to know someone before marriage. I lost and, unfortunately, the consequences with which I had to live were dire.”

This is why my son gets no sympathy when he decides to launch an intricate Lego machine off the top bunk. “Watch this, Mom!” he exclaims.

“Son, have you thought through what might happen if you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re still going to do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Let’s see it.” Over it goes in a very impressive spin. The sound of it hitting the floor is something between the sound of breaking glass and the crunching of fallen leaves. Hundreds of Legos simultaneously spatter throughout the room and blow under multiple pieces of furniture. “Very cool,” I say. “Hope you find all the pieces!” He knows better than to ask for help in damage recovery. He knows that if he can’t find that one very important piece, without which life cannot continue, he will not get one ounce of concern on my part. All he’ll get is, “Gee, I hope it doesn’t get vacuumed up.”

God-willing, my son will never be on T.V. whining about how he was wronged when the police pulled him over for going 100 mph in a street race. When he calls home, he can count on, “Gee, I hope you don’t get beat up while you’re in jail tonight.”

I praise God for those of us who are the ultra-responsible If-Then types. We’re predictable, dependable, and self-reliant. However, we are not very exciting. We don’t go sky diving. We don’t drop everything at the last minute to take off on romantic weekends with our spouses. We won’t. We don’t like unpredictable. We live reasonable, boring lives and we like it that way.

I also praise God for the risk takers -- the ones that look the If-Then squarely in the face and gamble. Without them my house wouldn’t be full of great inventions. Without them the highest peaks of the world and the lowest depths of the canyons would not be explored. Without them there would be few soldiers, firefighters, and policemen. These people ask, “What if I could? What if I did?” and they find out.

Just please, no whining.